Young children of the same age can differ by many months in when they talk, walk, join group play or manage their feelings, and much of this variation is normal; temperament, experience, language environment and health all shape a child's pace, so good preschool practice compares each child with their own earlier development rather than with classmates. Respecting that pace is not the same as waiting passively: teachers still notice patterns and act when something needs attention.
The Global Nexus framework states plainly that children are not forced into a single mould and that each child's rhythm is respected. This article explains what that principle means for educators, drawing on temperament research, typical variation in development and the practical question of how to tell normal difference from a sign that a child needs extra support.
Temperament: the starting point each child brings
Temperament refers to the inborn tendencies that shape how a child responds to the world: how active they are, how intensely they react, how easily they adapt to change, how they respond to new people and situations, and how regular their sleep and appetite are. Temperament is partly biological and is visible from early infancy, though experience shapes how it is expressed over time.
The classic research is the New York Longitudinal Study, begun in 1956 by Alexander Thomas and Stella Chess. They followed children from infancy into adulthood and described nine dimensions of temperament, including activity level, rhythmicity, approach or withdrawal, adaptability, intensity, mood, persistence, distractibility and sensory threshold. From these, they identified broad patterns often called easy, difficult and slow-to-warm-up, while noting that many children did not fit neatly into any group.
Later researchers such as Mary Rothbart proposed other ways of describing temperament, focusing on reactivity and self-regulation. The details differ, but the central message for educators is consistent: children arrive with different starting points, and the same classroom experience can feel very different to two children because of who they are.
Goodness of fit: the idea that matters most for teachers
Behaviour depends on the match. Thomas and Chess argued that a child's outcomes depend less on temperament alone than on the "goodness of fit" between temperament and the demands of the environment. A highly active child in a classroom with no space to move will struggle; the same child in a setting with daily outdoor play may thrive.
Adults can adjust the fit. Teachers cannot change a child's temperament, but they can change expectations, routines and support. A slow-to-warm-up child may need a gradual introduction to a new activity; an intense child may need warning before transitions; a distractible child may work best at a table away from the door.
Labels can harden. Describing a child as "difficult" or "shy" can shape how adults treat them and how the child sees themselves. Describing behaviour in specific terms, such as "takes time to join new groups", keeps the focus on what support might help.
Fit includes cultural expectations. In some families and cultures, a quiet, restrained child is admired; in others, a talkative, assertive child is. A bilingual preschool with families from several backgrounds needs to recognise these different hopes and avoid treating one style as the ideal.
Normal variation in some early milestones
Developmental guidelines usually give wide windows rather than single ages. The ranges below are general descriptions drawn from common practice in child health and are not diagnostic criteria; health professionals use specific screening tools.
| Area | What varies | Why it varies |
|---|---|---|
| Walking | Many children walk independently around the first birthday, but a span of several months on either side is common | Body build, temperament, opportunities to move, earlier crawling patterns |
| First words and sentences | First words often appear around the first birthday; combining words commonly emerges in the second year, with wide variation | Language exposure, temperament, hearing, number of languages heard, family conversation style |
| Toilet learning | Ranges widely across the toddler and early preschool years | Family practices, culture, readiness signals, physical maturity |
| Joining group play | Some children join eagerly at three, others watch for a long time before taking part | Temperament, experience with other children, language confidence |
| Fine-motor skills | Drawing, cutting and buttoning develop at different speeds | Practice, hand strength, interest, attention |
Bilingual children deserve special mention. Learning two languages does not cause language delay, but a child's vocabulary may be spread across both languages, so counting words in one language alone can underestimate what they know. Assessments should consider both languages together.
The myth of the closing window
Much of the pressure families feel comes from a popular misreading of brain science: the idea that if a skill is not learned by age three, or five, the window closes for ever. It is true that the early years are a period of extraordinary brain development, and some capacities, particularly in vision and hearing, depend on experience during specific critical periods. But for most of what preschools care about, such as language, social skills, early maths and creativity, the more accurate term is sensitive periods: times when learning is especially efficient, not deadlines after which it becomes impossible.
John Bruer's book The Myth of the First Three Years, published in 1999, challenged the more extreme claims made in popular media at the time, arguing that the evidence did not support the idea that intensive early stimulation produces lasting advantages for typically developing children. Later research has strengthened the case for supportive early environments, especially to protect children from neglect and toxic stress, while confirming that the brain remains capable of significant learning throughout childhood and beyond.
For educators, the message to families is balanced. The early years matter greatly, and responsive care, rich conversation and play make a real difference. But a child who learns to read at six rather than four, or who joins group play late, has not missed their chance. Pushing children to master skills early, at the cost of play, sleep and confidence, is a poor trade that the evidence does not justify.
Respecting pace in daily practice
Respecting a child's pace starts with how activities are designed. Open-ended activities, such as building, painting, sand and water play or pretend play, allow children at different levels to participate meaningfully at the same time. A three-year-old and a five-year-old can both work with clay, one exploring texture, the other making a detailed figure. Closed tasks with one right answer, such as identical worksheets, expose differences and leave some children bored and others defeated.
It continues in how adults set expectations. Instead of expecting every child to sit for a whole group story, teachers can allow a child who finds sitting difficult to hold a fidget object, sit on a cushion or join for part of the time. Instead of requiring every child to speak in circle time, teachers can allow children to pass and invite them again later. These are small adjustments that let each child take part at their own level.
Finally, respecting pace shapes how progress is communicated. When teachers describe a child's development, they compare it with that child's earlier records: "In September she watched others at the sand tray; now she joins and invites a friend." This kind of feedback helps families see real growth and avoids the anxiety that comes from comparing children with each other.
When difference may be a sign of concern
Respecting pace must never become an excuse for missing problems. Early support is most effective when it starts early. Teachers should discuss observations with the family, without labelling, if they notice patterns such as these.
- Loss of skills a child previously had, such as words, social engagement or toileting.
- Very limited eye contact, response to name or shared attention by around eighteen months to two years, combined with other social or communication differences.
- No words, or very few, by the later part of the second year, especially if the child also does not point, gesture or understand simple requests in any language.
- Persistent difficulty understanding instructions in both of the languages the child hears regularly.
- Marked difficulty with movement, balance or coordination compared with the child's own previous progress.
- Strong reactions to sounds, textures or light that seriously limit daily life.
- Signs that a child may not hear or see well, such as not responding to sounds or holding objects very close.
These are reasons to start a conversation, not to diagnose. Teachers are not specialists. The right step is to share specific observations with the family and suggest an assessment by a paediatrician or appropriate professional. In Vietnam, families can begin with a paediatric clinic or a child development unit at a hospital, depending on what is available locally. Children who need specialised intervention can be supported by early intervention services, which on this site sit outside the scope of the curriculum articles.
Avoiding comparison in a competitive culture
In many cities, including Ho Chi Minh City, families feel strong pressure about early achievement. Parents may compare children at family gatherings, in online groups or at the school gate. Educators can unintentionally feed this pressure by displaying work in ways that invite ranking, praising the fastest children publicly, or describing progress in terms of who is ahead.
A whole-child programme takes a deliberate stance against this. It does not use scores, rankings or public comparison charts for young children. Displays show the variety of children's work rather than a gallery of the "best". Feedback to families focuses on the child's own growth, interests and next steps.
This stance is supported by research on motivation. Carol Dweck's work on mindset, though debated in its effect sizes, has popularised the idea that praising effort and strategies tends to encourage persistence more than praising fixed ability. More broadly, early childhood specialists agree that young children's sense of competence is fragile and easily damaged by comparison. A child who believes they are "the slow one" at four may carry that belief into primary school.
What the principle asks of teachers and schools
Respecting each child's rhythm asks a great deal of teachers. They need to know each child well, observe carefully, adapt activities and communicate thoughtfully with families. This is only possible with manageable group sizes, stable teaching teams and time for observation and planning.
It also asks schools to resist commercial pressure. Families may request faster academic progress, more homework or visible proof of achievement. A school committed to individual pace needs a clear explanation of why it works differently, and teachers who can explain it confidently and kindly.
For Global Nexus, this principle appears in the framework's refusal to force children into a single mould. In practice, it means that two children in the same class may be working on very different goals within the same activity, and that both are making real progress. A visitor should expect to see variety, not uniformity, and to hear teachers talk about individual children rather than about the class as a single unit.
It asks something of leaders too: induction that explains the principle with real examples, supervision that asks teachers about individual children rather than class averages, and reports to families written in the language of growth. When these pieces are in place, respecting pace stops being a phrase on a brochure and becomes a habit that new teachers absorb in their first weeks.
Câu hỏi thường gặp
Can a child's temperament change over time?
Temperament has a stable core, but how it shows up changes with age, experience and support. A child who is very cautious at two may become more confident at five if adults allow gradual exposure to new things. Temperament is a starting point, not a fixed destiny.
Is a shy child a problem in preschool?
Not in itself. Many children are cautious with new people and situations and join in once they feel safe. Teachers can help by allowing observation time, introducing new activities gradually and not forcing participation. Concern is only warranted if shyness severely limits daily life or comes with other developmental worries.
Do bilingual children talk later?
Research does not show that bilingualism causes language delay. Bilingual children may know some words in one language and others in the second, so their total vocabulary across both is usually comparable to monolingual peers. A genuine delay appears in both languages and should be assessed by a professional.
Should children who are ahead be moved to an older class?
Usually it is better to extend learning within the child's own group, since social and emotional development may not match academic skills. Open-ended activities and individual challenges allow advanced children to go further without losing their peer group. Any move should consider the whole child, not only one area.
How should teachers talk to families about developmental concerns?
Choose a private, calm moment and describe specific observations rather than conclusions. Ask what the family sees at home and listen. Suggest a specialist assessment as a way of getting more information, not as a verdict. Offer to support whatever next steps the family chooses.