Social-emotional learning (SEL) in early childhood is the process by which young children learn to recognise and manage their feelings, understand other people, build friendships and make simple responsible choices; in preschool it is taught mainly through relationships and daily routines, not through stand-alone lessons. A four-year-old learns more about empathy from a teacher who notices a friend crying and asks the group what might help than from a worksheet of happy and sad faces.
This guide is for teachers and curriculum leads. It explains what the widely used CASEL framework looks like when you translate it for children under six, why the early years matter so much for these skills, which routines carry most of the teaching, and how to tell genuine SEL from a programme that only decorates the walls with emotion posters.
What counts as social-emotional learning before age six
In older children, SEL is often delivered as a curriculum with weekly lessons. In the early years, that model works poorly on its own because young children learn social and emotional skills in the moment they need them: when a tower collapses, when someone takes the red crayon, when a parent leaves at the gate. The content of SEL is the same, but the delivery is embedded.
At this age the core content includes recognising basic emotions in oneself and others; having words for those emotions in the languages the child uses; beginning to calm down with an adult's help and later with less help; joining play, sharing materials and taking turns; noticing when someone is upset; repairing after a conflict; and following simple agreements that keep the group safe. Underneath all of these sits a sense of security. A child who does not yet trust the adults in the room will spend their energy watching the door, not learning to share.
In the Global Nexus framework these goals are spread across two named dimensions. Emotion covers the inner side, from naming feelings to recovering from upset. Life skills cover the outward side: cooperation, turn-taking, caring for shared spaces and keeping small promises. Separating them helps teachers notice that a child can be sociable and still struggle with frustration, or calm and still find it hard to join a group.
The five CASEL competencies, translated for preschool
The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL), founded in the United States in 1994, groups SEL into five competencies. They were written with school-age children in mind, so the table shows what each looks like in a preschool room.
| CASEL competency | In a preschool child | What the teacher does |
|---|---|---|
| Self-awareness | Says "I'm angry" or "I'm scared"; knows what they like and can do | Names feelings aloud, reflects them back, celebrates effort rather than results |
| Self-management | Waits a short time, uses a calm-down corner, tries again after failing | Co-regulates first, then gradually steps back; keeps routines predictable |
| Social awareness | Notices a friend crying, offers a toy, understands another child may want something different | Draws attention to others' faces and feelings in stories and real moments |
| Relationship skills | Joins play, takes turns, says sorry in words or actions, asks for help | Coaches entry into play, models repair, gives children words to negotiate |
| Responsible decision-making | Chooses between two options, follows a group agreement, thinks about what might happen next | Offers real choices, asks "what could we do?", involves children in making class rules |
The translation matters because the original wording can tempt teachers into adult expectations. A three-year-old who grabs a toy is not failing at "responsible decision-making"; they are at the very beginning of learning that other people have wants too. The competencies describe a direction of travel, not a checklist to complete before primary school.
Why the early years matter so much for these skills
Social and emotional skills develop throughout life, but the foundations are laid early and they shape later learning. Longitudinal research supports this. A widely cited study by Jones, Greenberg and Crowley, published in the American Journal of Public Health in 2015, followed children from kindergarten in the United States into early adulthood and found that teacher ratings of prosocial skills at age five were associated with outcomes such as completing education and stable employment, even after accounting for family background. Such studies show association rather than proof of cause, but they point consistently in the same direction.
The mechanism is not mysterious. Children who can manage frustration persist longer on hard tasks. Children who can join play get more practice with language and problem-solving, because play is where most of that practice happens. Children who feel secure explore more. Each of these advantages compounds, which is why a small difference in social-emotional skill at four can become a large difference in engagement at eight.
There is also a simpler argument that teachers often find most persuasive: a classroom full of children who can wait, listen and repair after conflict is a classroom where everything else is easier to teach. SEL is not a distraction from academic learning; it is the condition for it.
The daily routines that do most of the teaching
Arrival. A warm, individual greeting at the door tells each child they have been noticed. Teachers can read mood at this moment and adjust before trouble starts, for example by giving a sleepy child a quiet first activity.
Morning circle. Sharing time teaches listening and turn-taking. A short "how are you feeling today?" check-in, using faces, colours or simple words in both Vietnamese and English, builds emotion vocabulary without turning feelings into a test.
Free play. This is where conflict happens, which makes it the richest SEL time of the day. Teachers who stay close and coach, rather than settling disputes for children, give them repeated practice at negotiating.
Meals. Passing dishes, waiting until everyone is served and talking at the table are social skills in action. Shared meals are a long-standing part of Vietnamese preschool life and an ideal setting for this learning.
Transitions. Moving from play to tidy-up or from outdoors to lunch is hard for young children. Predictable signals, warnings before change and a calm adult voice teach self-management more effectively than any lesson.
Rest and goodbye. Settling to sleep and parting at the end of the day involve strong feelings. Consistent rituals help children learn that feelings rise and fall and that adults will help them through.
Signs that an SEL programme is real, and signs that it is decoration
Many schools say they teach social-emotional skills. Visiting educators, school leaders and partners can use the contrasts below to see what is actually happening.
- Real: teachers name feelings in the moment, including their own ("I feel frustrated when the blocks are thrown, so I am going to take a breath"). Decoration: emotion posters on the wall that no one refers to.
- Real: conflicts are treated as teaching opportunities, with adults coaching children through what happened and what to do next. Decoration: conflicts end with a quick forced "say sorry" and a separation.
- Real: a calm space exists and children choose to use it, sometimes with an adult nearby. Decoration: a "thinking chair" that functions as a punishment seat.
- Real: records about each child include notes on friendships, frustration and recovery, not only on academic skills. Decoration: reports that mention behaviour only as "good" or "needs improvement".
- Real: rules are few, phrased positively and made with children. Decoration: long lists of "don'ts" and reward charts with stickers for being quiet.
None of the "real" items requires special materials or a commercial programme. They require trained adults with enough time, which is why staffing ratios and a calm daily rhythm are part of SEL, not separate from it.
SEL across languages and cultures
In a Vietnamese–English bilingual preschool, SEL raises two questions that monolingual programmes can ignore. The first is vocabulary. Children may know "happy" and "sad" in English before they know subtler words in either language. Teachers can widen both vocabularies together, pairing words such as giận and "angry", lo and "worried", tự hào and "proud", and accept whichever language a child reaches for when upset. A child in distress should never be asked to switch languages before being comforted.
The second is cultural expectation. Vietnamese family culture often values restraint, respect for elders and harmony within the group, while some international families emphasise individual expression and assertiveness. Both carry real strengths. A thoughtful programme does not rank them; it helps children learn to express feelings honestly and to consider the group, and it talks openly with families about what each of them hopes for.
For international teachers new to Vietnam, this is one of the most important areas for co-planning with Vietnamese colleagues, who can explain how feelings are usually expressed at home, which phrases families use to comfort children, and which classroom habits will feel familiar to the children. Shared language about feelings among adults is the first step to shared language with children.
The adult in the room is the curriculum
Every SEL framework eventually arrives at the same uncomfortable point: children learn emotional regulation mostly by watching and borrowing it from adults. A teacher who raises her voice to stop shouting is teaching something, just not the lesson she intended. A teacher who pauses, breathes and lowers her voice when the room becomes loud is giving a demonstration that no lesson plan can match.
This makes staff wellbeing a curriculum issue. Teachers who are exhausted, under-supported or working with too many children will struggle to stay calm and attentive, however well trained they are. School leaders who want strong social-emotional learning therefore need to look at ratios, breaks, the length of the working day and the support teachers receive after difficult incidents, not only at training content.
It also means that SEL training for teachers should include their own regulation: noticing their triggers, having a plan for the moment they feel their patience slipping, and knowing when to hand over to a colleague. In co-teaching pairs, a simple agreed signal for "can you take over for a minute?" protects both the children and the adults. These practices are rarely written into curriculum documents, yet they determine whether the written curriculum ever reaches the children.
Planning SEL deliberately, week by week
Because SEL lives in routines, it can quietly disappear from planning: if it is everywhere, it can end up nowhere. A practical safeguard is to name one social-emotional focus each week, for example "joining play", "waiting" or "noticing others", and connect it to the current theme. During a theme about the market, children can practise asking politely, waiting in a pretend queue and helping a friend carry a basket.
Stories are the other planned element. Picture books in both languages let children meet feelings at a safe distance and talk about what a character might do. Puppets serve the same purpose for younger children. Teachers then point back to the story when a real situation arises: "Remember when the little bear was too angry to talk? What helped him?"
Finally, plan for reflection among adults. A weekly fifteen-minute conversation about which children are finding friendships hard, who is not being chosen in play, or who has had a difficult week at home allows teachers to act early. That conversation is often where whole-child education becomes visible.
Câu hỏi thường gặp
Should preschools use a packaged SEL curriculum?
A packaged programme can give teachers shared language and ideas, but in the early years it should support daily practice, not replace it. If a school buys one, check that it fits the children's languages and culture, and that teachers are trained to use its ideas during play, meals and transitions, not only in timetabled sessions.
At what age do children start to show empathy?
Early signs appear in the first two years, when toddlers may offer a toy to a crying child or look concerned. Understanding that others have different thoughts and wishes develops gradually through the preschool years. Adults support it by naming other people's feelings and asking children what someone else might need.
Is it wrong to make a child say sorry?
A forced apology teaches the words without the meaning. It is usually more useful to help the child notice the other person's feelings and then choose a way to make things better, which may be words, a hug, returning a toy or helping rebuild a tower. Over time the words come with real understanding.
How do you assess social-emotional development without labelling children?
Teachers observe and record specific behaviour over time, such as how a child joins play or recovers after upset, and compare it with the child's own earlier notes. Descriptions stay factual and are shared with families. Children are never ranked or given scores for their emotional skills.
What should a teacher do when a child cannot calm down?
Stay close, keep your own voice calm, reduce noise and demands, and offer comfort the child accepts. Talking and problem-solving come later, once the child has settled. If intense distress happens often or lasts unusually long, discuss it with the family and consider advice from a specialist.